He won’t ever know the feeling of your tiny body wriggling inside his belly reminding him of your increasing presence, but he eagerly placed his giant hands on Mummy’s stomach in an attempt to connect with you.
It's ok to not love the scars that gave you your daughter. It's ok to not feel grateful for them in spite of the women who pray for them.It's ok to look in the mirror and not recognize this body and wonder if these negative thoughts you'll overcome.
You were more a nervous twitch, that never went away, a tugging in my heart that I wanted to ignore, because I wasn't 'motherly'. I didn't start to long for you until it became clear I might not ever meet you.
I didn't love being pregnant but I loved knowing we shared the same body as you grew for 40 weeks, your heart right next to mine. I didn't love my leaking, swollen, stretched, slow, heavy and sore postpartum body. But I loved knowing it had carried you here safely, earth-side.
It’s hard to sometimes not feel resentful that he gets to switch off from the craziness round here and pursue his career, or that he can eat his lunch in peace without being watched, whinged at, grabbed at or having to share it (if I eat at all).
Your loving arms have picked up, put down, carried, cuddled, hugged, comforted, jigged. They’ve remained welcoming through all life’s trials and when open, provide the most perfect comfort your child will ever know.
I’m sorry I never knew what you meant when you said you were exhausted. Mentally and physically drained of everything. I’m sorry I didn’t know what it meant to have sore nipples and red achy eyes that so badly just wanted to close. I’m sorry there were days you felt overwhelmed, isolated and alone.
‘In the hustle of the room I peered over at my friend bent over in pain. Baby had just been born and everyone was surrounding the miracle that happened before our eyes and naturally we were all in awe of him. But I was especially in awe of her. I saw you, mama.
Instead it came in little bursts, in between the hardest moments when you’ve never felt more alone, more depleted and more unloved, it came when you needed it the most. It came when there were frustrated tears falling down your cheeks at 3am and the little feeding noises broke the silence.
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the journey of Motherhood. When you are a sleep deprived, emotional, stress ball, your thoughts and mindsets are often not very positive and optimistic. Here’s 10 tried and true (by yours truly), steps to inject some much needed Mindful moments in your busy day.