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Vignettes From Motherhood
Advice & Ideas
New Mum Corner
Meditation & Manifestation
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The Motherhood Project Blog

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ALL POSTS VIGNETTES ADVICE & IDEAS NEW MUM CORNERMeditation & Manifestation

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Meditation - Commit to something.
Meditation - Commit to something.


If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world in one generation. - Dalai Lama.

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Someone said to me on a post once over on FB, “you chose to have kids, don’t complain”. That’s not complaining- that’s feeling.
Someone said to me on a post once over on FB, “you chose to have kids, don’t complain”. That’s not complaining- that’s feeling.

You don’t stub your toe and say “oh f*ck ... hey at least I have toes”.
Why should motherhood be any different? Without the guilt of saying at the end “but I wouldn’t have it any other way”. Of course you wouldn’t!!! You bloody love those little guys!
By Jess Urlichs

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Dearest friend, please keep checking in. I’m not sure I can hold it all together, I know I don’t have to with you, but right now I just need to try.
Dearest friend, please keep checking in. I’m not sure I can hold it all together, I know I don’t have to with you, but right now I just need to try.

It’s still me.

Well sort of.

I’m here, but another version entirely.
I’m in a bubble of longing and love.
By Jess Urlichs

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The mum who started a family, whilst living away from her own.
The mum who started a family, whilst living away from her own.

You are not alone in your aloneness.
There are loads of us. That followed the partner. Or followed the job. Whose heart will always partially belong elsewhere.

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Sleep around here is a novelty, there has been swearing, tears, furiously checking leap apps & a lot of throwing back the covers.
Sleep around here is a novelty, there has been swearing, tears, furiously checking leap apps & a lot of throwing back the covers.

There will be people in her life that won’t show up for her, I don’t want to be the first.

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After your body left mine, my guarded heart is now completely exposed.
After your body left mine, my guarded heart is now completely exposed.

In those precious first moments, after your body left mine, a hazy cloud shifted instantly. One I didn’t realise was smothering me.

By Lacey Owen.

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Once your child is asleep you don’t have to be brave anymore.
Once your child is asleep you don’t have to be brave anymore.

Bed time is the hardest because once your child is asleep you don’t have to be brave anymore. Bed time is for the tears.

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Can I grieve my infertility even though I have a child?
Can I grieve my infertility even though I have a child?

Does the two year journey to her conception become just a blip not the monthly breakdown it once was?

Are you allowed to still hurt even though you've been blessed with a miracle?

By Han Findlay.

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I'm the one you will remember, I am a single mum.
I'm the one you will remember, I am a single mum.

When it’s an hour before bed
And I wonder how I will do it
And I think how much I wish
I had more energy to get through it

By Hayley Fuller.

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Entering as a woman, departing as a mother. I wish those corridors could applaud you.
Entering as a woman, departing as a mother. I wish those corridors could applaud you.

She walks slowly toward labour and delivery cradling her tight swollen belly. A loving gesture she doesn’t even realise she’s making and soon it’ll be gone.

By Lacey Owen.

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I’m beginning to forget the earliest version of you.
I’m beginning to forget the earliest version of you.

I’m beginning to forget the earliest version of you.

Finer details that once took pride of place in my mind are slipping through my fingers like tiny
grains of sand.

Memories of you, of us, lie in wait as attempts to clench my brain shut all end in vain.

And it scares me.

By Lacey Owen.

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I'd love to go back and mother that version of you, but as this version of me; the mum I am today.
I'd love to go back and mother that version of you, but as this version of me; the mum I am today.

I'd love to go back and mother that version of you, but as this version of me; the mum I am today.

Written by Karen McMillan from Mother Truths.

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These sleepless nights, in our little bubble.
These sleepless nights, in our little bubble.

These sleepless nights, in our little bubble.
While the world is heavy with so many worries.
Your only worry is a world in which I am not there.

By Jess Urlichs.

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I'm realising now, this is what a home means...
I'm realising now, this is what a home means...

That perfect home, remembering clean
Realising now, this is a what a home means

The longest nights as I stroke your hair
Your eyes flutter closed just knowing I’m there

By Jess Urlichs

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Today, I met my match, TODDLERS.
Today, I met my match, TODDLERS.

I’ve never been a cryer, but ohhhh motherhood got me good.

By Jess Urlichs, Writer.

https://www.instagram.com/jessurlichs_writer

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The one they’d never heard about: Postpartum OCD.
The one they’d never heard about: Postpartum OCD.
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Psychotherapist Anna Mathur - Why parenting is a tough gig.
Psychotherapist Anna Mathur - Why parenting is a tough gig.

In life, if someone was screaming at at you, shouting, whining, hitting. If there was constant noise that was stressing your body. If you needed space but there wasn’t any...your body and your mind would tell you to walk away. You’d leave. You’d go, you’d breathe. You’d walk, talk, calm, ground, focus, refuel, recover. It’s an inbuilt, self-protective drive.

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Stay at Home Mum.
Stay at Home Mum.

’m working on forgiveness, I’m working on myself, I’m trying to locate her, high up on a shelf.

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They said,  they said, they said...we are helping our babies too much.
They said, they said, they said...we are helping our babies too much.

THEY SAID, you're helping him too much, you'll regret that,  they said. They denied us of our rods, and filled our hearts with dread.

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In Pursuit of a Nap.
In Pursuit of a Nap.

If you ever see a mum, pacing with a pram nearby, with her head bowed down, can't quite look you in the eye…

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We may not love the skin we're in postpartum, but they do.
We may not love the skin we're in postpartum, but they do.

We hang onto the looseness, cry over the leakage and break ourselves over what we ‘should be’.
But they know of no comparison, only the you of yesterday and the you of today.

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As  a mother, I used to feel like I was missing out.
As a mother, I used to feel like I was missing out.

"Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life" - Anon.

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An open letter to my second child.
An open letter to my second child.

The only second you are to me is my second language, the one I had to learn because you were so different to my first.

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Dads Matter Too.
Dads Matter Too.

I know you think I never see

All those little things you do

And I know how you hate poetry

But this one's just for you.

By Karen McMillian @mother_truths

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Sleep, sayonara, it was nice while it lasted. 
Sleep, sayonara, it was nice while it lasted. 

Please, please, PLEASE - I will do anything if you just LET ME SLEEP! I’m at my wits end and would do almost anything for a few hours in a row. 

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Baby Blues - Please let me cry these tears.
Baby Blues - Please let me cry these tears.

The congratulatory messages flood in, “You must be overwhelmed with happiness”, “enjoy every minute”.

It’s not their fault, I’ve said it too, it’s what we say to new Mothers isn’t it? “Mama, wipe away those tears”

Look at what I have! I don’t deserve to feel sad, let’s throw that emotion in the corner, with the postpartum underwear.

Nothing to see here. “Mama, wipe away those tears”

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Today the little man is one month, but instead of the usual "everything is happy days photo" I'm posting this one...
Today the little man is one month, but instead of the usual "everything is happy days photo" I'm posting this one...

Today I'm tired, you have been on me since 5am and it doesn't seem like you will be moving anytime soon. So instead of getting angry or upset I just sat here thinking how special this actually is...

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Mama, when you feel pushed to no end, I see beauty and bravery.
Mama, when you feel pushed to no end, I see beauty and bravery.

If only you could see yourself through my eyes, I think you’d be rather surprised.
I see beauty and bravery and so much glow. 

By Lou Marx

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An open letter to you, my toddler, I get it, I get all of it now.
An open letter to you, my toddler, I get it, I get all of it now.

I get it, I get all of it.
The screams, the tears, the tantrums.
Your bottom lip drops and your eyes brim with emotions.
Sometimes you even turn away from me.
That one rips my heart in two.

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There's more than one way to raise a baby.
There's more than one way to raise a baby.

There’s more than one way to raise a baby and we’re all doing the best we can.
If you do it with love, then well done you x

By Jess Urlichs.

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The rain is torrential outside, but I can still hear you call my name - mama. You’ve woken up with a fright, either a bad dream, too dark, too hot, sore teeth, a night terror - always the guessing game, but all that matters in this moment is you need me. 
I remember calling for my own mum when I was little with such urgency and almost terror, knowing she could fix anything. She always came, as fast as she could. 
I’m instantly awake, yet completely  disoriented not knowing how long I’ve been asleep or what time it is.
‘I’m here darling, I’m here.’ Your arms search for me in the low light. I find your eyes and I feel the tension dissolve from you in an instant. The tears stop, your arms fit around my neck like the final puzzle piece finding its home. 
Our heartbeats begin to slow and beat in unison - like an old familiar duet. 
The adrenaline wears off and I’m weary, I’m exhausted. I’m almost emotional at the thought of how much sleep I’m going to miss out on tonight. Feeling grateful I don’t know the time - so I don’t start the calculations in my head. 
But right now, I wonder how many other parents are doing this too, sitting in the darkness - with their babies, toddlers and older children too. 
This is my chance to dig deep, to appreciate what is, to realise the intense love in this room right now between a mother and child. To recognise how privileged and lucky I am to be needed this much. 
I feel your breathing become regular so I lie down beside you and pull the duvet up. I stroke your hair away from your eyes and say a silent prayer of thanks for the privilege and challenge of motherhood. .
.
Gem Douglas @themotherhoodprojectnz
Happened again♥️
This is what I need right now.
Ten minutes of reading Glennon Doyle in front of the fire with a @redsealnz relaxing tea, because I’ve been wound up today over a few things.
I know I go on about self-care in motherhood & it’s something I believe needs a rebrand. It needs to be simplified & redefined – as Brianna Wiest said – ‘self-care is more about parenting yourselves and making choices for your long-term wellness.’
I drink this relaxing tea before bed, as it contains ingredients that promote relaxation, passion flower and chamomile. @redsealnz has a saying that when you put incredible in, you get incredible out, which I adore. Tune into what makes you feel incredible inside either through nutrition, mindfulness, sleep or exercise, and your family will feel the ripple effect when you look after yourself – which is exactly what I go on about so much. Self-care can be simple with big benefits – but you have to figure out what self-care means to you first. What raises your vibration?
When I first became a mum, I knew I needed to practice ‘self-care’ but I didn’t understand it other than having a break from my baby.
I would often get to the point of having a break, then not know what to do, I’d imagine doing about 10 things & do very little because I didn’t truly understand it’s importance. But now I get it.
I need to be consciously aware of what self-care works. Something that raises my vibration & energy levels & it doesn’t need to be hard & time consuming. It can be as simple as putting on my favourite song & taking 5 deep breaths.
My other self-care steps:
Getting my kids to brush my hair. Sweating through a workout. Make a smoothie – with my supplements. Vacuuming my car. Leaving my phone in another room. Sitting in the sun with a hot cup of tea & breathing deeply. Doing a 2 minute body scan identifying any tension in my body. Cuddling the kids on the couch while watching TV. Calling my mum.
.
#redsealNZ #incredibleinside #collab .
.
Always read the label, use only as directed.
All the feels today, but most importantly, this day is a celebration of my daughter turning five and starting school. I felt an ache in my heart this morning at how she has grown into such an independent and brave little being. Then I read this and realized it’s all about attitude and mentality, like so many things in life.
This moment is all we’ve got. I won’t ever have to be sad if I’m in the moment l,because I’ll be too busy enjoying them.♥️ Gem - @themotherhoodprojectnz .
.
@unstoppablemother
You may feel you haven’t achieved anything big today. The washing may have piled up and the dishes too. But just for a moment, let go. Let go of the pressure and the heaviness you feel, from both external and internal places. Let go of expectations and thoughts of not being good enough even for just a moment. Lower your shoulders, breathe and exhale as long as you can. 
Just let go. 
Allow thoughts to come without investing in them. Sit for a moment and imagine diving into the gap between these thoughts, where a tranquil space of only peace and love resides.
You are untouchable here.
In this moment think of how much love you put out into the world today, how many hugs and kisses you gave, hands you held, bodies you fed, washed, dressed and cared for. How safe and loved you made someone feel today. 
Remember to love yourself too. 
You did do something today, something so important. Every little thing mattered and so do you. .
.
Words by Gemma Douglas @themotherhoodprojectnz .
Image by @o_trocatintas
Your world is often chaotic, gloriously chaotic, and can be hard to cut through the noise. But listen to the whispers of your intuition before they are silenced. Trust yourself that you know best. You have an authentic inner knowing when it comes to your own soul, and as a matter of fact – to your child’s soul too.
.
@themotherhoodprojectnz
Postpartum is hard. It’s wonderful but it’s also hard. A lot harder than I thought it was going to be.
Through one of the most exhausting, soul touching and challenging moments of my life I suddenly have another soul that is completely relying on me for everything. This little one still believes we are one - which a part of me always will be. 
He craves my skin, my touch, my smell, my body - to feel safe, loved, fed and comforted. 
Pregnancy is often thought of as the finish line, yet it’s only the beginning, we are only just entering the arena. 
It’s important we think about who is in the arena with us as we enter our postpartum phase. 
Sometimes it hits us straight away after traumatic births, feeding and sleeping troubles and for others it’s months down the track or even years. 
It’s wonderful but it’s still hard. 
Let’s start informing and preparing our sisterhood of soon to be mothers that pregnancy is a time to prepare for not just our baby arriving but our transformation into a mother.
Let’s also not forget about the mothers having their 2nd, 3rd or 6th babies, those transitions are tremendously hard too. That transition from one to two babies I still remember being intense. 
No matter what stage you are in as a mother your arena can’t be empty -  a mother needs her village surrounding her. Whether it’s a supportive partner, through support/coffee groups, online, that one close friend who you text in the night, your own parents or paid help, don’t do it alone. Begin to fill that arena, whether it’s big or small. 
I understand this year has been a hard one creating a village but there are little ways we can help each other, dropping or delivering food, texting/calling every day and checking in. Asking what they need and if they are okay.  Listening, validating and understanding how they feel. Just being a presence in their lives. 
Postpartum can be beautiful, it can also be really hard.

Tbt Connor no.3 - 7 days old💞
♥️

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