The Courage Project
Stories of courage in parenthood, a series brought to you from The Motherhood Project
Monique Low is a wife and mother of three. She is also the creator and owner of Happy Happy - a natural skincare company based in Hawkes Bay. Monique describes her journey with her son Jack. At seven years old Jack developed an eye roll and tic, at eight years old this developed into Tourettes. Monique was determined to find an answer. She travelled the world researching, launched a new career, and went in search of a ‘cure’ for Jack no matter the cost. This story is fuelled with so much passion and courage.
Read Monique’s courageous story below.
My son Jack made a dramatic entrance to the world. I was in labour at home (planned) but unfortunately the midwife was held up in traffic (people leaving a big concert) and it was just myself and my husband. Even though we were both terrified I just gave in to nature, trusted that my body knew what to do and let what women have done for thousands of years happen. He arrived safely and I knew intuitively that this boy was something special.
“Kids would tease him and I remember having a meeting with the acting principal about it. She said to me:
‘Something is wrong with him. I can’t quite put my finger on it. You need to have him assessed.’
”
There were little signs when Jack was about seven that something wasn’t quite right. He developed an eye roll. He would continuously sniff and clear his throat. I remember being annoyed at the constant sniffing and growling. I’m not going to lie – it drove us all crazy! He was having a hard time at school. Kids would tease him and I remember having a meeting with the acting principal about it. She said to me “Something is wrong with him. I can’t quite put my finger on it. You need to have him assessed”. It was said with such a crushing lack of empathy that after that meeting I started the process of moving him schools.
Things started to change noticeably when Jack was eight. He began to cough and clear his throat and nose more. They would come and go but it was becoming more constant. We got him checked out by the doctor but he said there was nothing wrong. We upped the homeopathy but no difference. Then the motor tics started. He would start to shrug his shoulder up. Nothing too dramatic but it would repeat every minute or two over and over. These tics started to come and go more frequently. At first I ignored them and put them down to growing pains. Deep down I think I knew what was going on but couldn’t acknowledge it.
Jack started to have tics in his legs and hips. I took him to a lovely chiropractor I knew. We had had success in calming down these involuntary movements before. This time was different though. I watched as my son lay face down on the chiropractors table. His left hip kept lifting up. His muscles were spasming and he keep rolling/arching his lower back. I remember watching and feeling quite scared and numb. My friend looked at me and quietly said “Monique. There’s something else going on here.” I remember wanting to yell at him to shut up and I felt like the floor was opening up. Then he said the thing that I was blocking out. “I think you need to get him checked for tourettes”.
I remember leaving that appointment and driving home. I started crying in the car but I was trying so hard to put on a brave face. Jack knew something was up and asked me what was wrong. I told him not to worry about it and mum would sort it out. We came home and he went inside. I sat in the car and just cried and cried. Then I had to suck it up and go inside and just act like it was another day. Everything I thought I knew about tourettes was screaming through my head and I was so fearful for my sons future. He is such a beautiful soul and I remember thinking “It isn’t fucking fair!!”. That night I made a decision that this was my only day I was allowed to wallow and cry and from tomorrow I was going to crack on and figure out a way through.
“I remember recoiling and thinking GOD NO. You can’t give a kid cannabis.
Imagine the path in life that would be sending him down.”
We got onto a hospital waiting list to get a diagnosis. The day finally came and of course Jack wasn’t ticking. We were lucky enough to get an amazing young doctor and she believed what we told her. She said Jack had mild tourettes. He would “probably” grow out of it in mid to late teens. She didn’t recommend putting him on the medication because the side effects were fairly strong. So I went home and started reading. I first researched the meds that doctors prescribe for tourettes. Pretty fucking horrific. Then I did a search on natural treatments for tourettes. Cannabis came up.
Cannabis. Cannabis this. Cannabis that. I remember recoiling and thinking GOD NO. You can’t give a kid cannabis. Imagine the path in life that would be sending him down. Every piece of knowledge I had about weed flooded my mind. I was a rascal in my teenage years and was a cannabis smoker. I had outgrown that stage though. I remember the whole seedy scene and thought YUCK, HELL NO. So I left it alone and kept researching. The thing was there was not really any other alternatives that were on offer. So I went deeper and did more reading.
“I also knew that I needed to know everything about this plant before I would allow a doctor to prescribe it for my son. ”
I signed up for an online course from the Cannabis University. I laughed and laughed my way through that course but it was actually really insightful and a great introduction. To this day it’s the only degree I have. (Side note I could get a job in a dispensary now). I dove deeper and signed up for more newsletters and more groups.
I did a course online with an incredible nurse called Jordan Person. She had basically saved her own life with cannabis and was now educating others. I learned all about topical use of cannabis. It taught me the science behind the plant and how we are covered with receptors under our skin and throughout our bodies. I learned that a scientist in Israel had discovered this previously unknown system in our bodies in the 80s called the Endocannabinoid System. It was PROVEN BY SCIENCE to exist, yet only some doctors were being educated on it. The Endocannabinoid’s job in the body is to create homeostasis (stable equilibrium between individual elements) within the body. I interpreted that to mean if something is out of whack (whatever that is) then this plant will help bring it back into line. You can also remove the ‘high’ (tetrahydrocannabinol -THC) from the plant/oil which made a huge difference.
I was on a mission and my boys health was the prize. Looking back I was a bit obsessed but any parent with a sick kid knows they stop at nothing to help.
In 2018 I applied for a three day conference that was being held in San Jose, California. There were scholarships going for Women. As soon as I sent off my application I knew I was going to get one. I told my hubby – “I’m going to get that”. We had a big laugh but sure enough, a few weeks later I got the email. “You have been chosen….”. I admit I had a huge panic because we had no money and it was going to cost thousands. We had some money put aside for a garage and my hubby told me to use that. (That good bastard still doesn’t have a garage all these years later). I admit I was terrified. I was going on a shoestring budget. I knew no one. I had never been that far away from home let alone on my own. I nearly bailed multiple times. It was really scary getting on that plane but it’s something I knew had to happen.
I also knew that I needed to know everything about this plant before I would allow a doctor to prescribe it for my son.
“I was on a mission and my boys health was the prize. Looking back I was a bit obsessed but any parent with a sick kid knows they stop at nothing to help.”
The conference was incredible. There was something for everything. I visited dispensaries and cafes. I watched nanas going in and getting creams and balms for their arthritis. Parents getting bits and pieces. It actually blew my mind what was going on. People were kind and friendly and genuinely wanted to help. I met a couple of ladies from Hawaii. They found out I was from NZ and took me under their wing. They ran a dispensary in Oregon. I learned more from those girls in three days than any course. They were incredible. It was a whirlwind week but life changing.
I arrived home with a clear path. Determined to stop at nothing I talked to doctor after doctor. I also started another course that taught me how to make Organic Skincare which has changed the course of my life forever.
But then my son started the worst tic ever. His whole head would move to the side, his chin would jut out, his shoulder came up and it would just lock. For a good few seconds. Then it eased. Then it would repeat. Over and over and over. I remember he looked at me and he started crying and told me it was hurting him. That was it. I knew now after all my study and research that CBD oil was the way to go, no matter the cost we would find the money and cut through all the red tape if that’s what it would take. And we found a way.
Slowly the tics started easing. At first they eased in their strength, then they eased in their frequency and they got smaller and further apart in time.
Long story short - after about a year there were no more tics. There were no more throat clears. No more grunts and coughs. No eye rolls. Nothing. The tourettes was gone. If he gets overwhelmed or has too much screen time he sometimes gets an eye tic starting.
My son is a teenager now living his best life. He is a “normal” kid in every way. Annoying as heck. Torturing his sisters and constantly amazing me with his bad jokes. I love it. He’s taught me so much about resilience and love and hope. The universe blessed me with one right out of the box and I will always be so grateful. Things have moved on and we will be forever grateful for this beautiful plant.
You can find Monique’s Happy Happy natural skincare company here: https://www.instagram.com/happyhappynz/
