Simple Decision Making.

Simple Decision Making.

The biggest thing we as mothers spend our time overthinking about is whether we are making the right decisions. We spend our nights after our family are fast asleep going through worst case scenarios in our heads. When then find ourselves distracted throughout the day by more decisions we can’t figure out is the right ones. This can cause us anxiety, stress, arguments with our loved ones and frustrations towards our children when they are craving for our presence when our energy is far from the present moment – simply because we have these decisions weighing us down. We can get into a state of analysis paralysis – which causes us to overthink so much that we become completely unproductive – we simply do nothing which only tends to compound the situation further. 

So how do we make decisions faster? 

We become more purposeful and resourceful – at the right time. This may be setting aside a certain time of day or night for these decisions so we can give them the attention they deserve.

The biggest thing here is: MAKE YOUR DECISION THE RIGHT ONE.

It’s easy for us to believe that the best decision must be made by thinking deeper, longer and harder. – Often though the options can be equally valid, and sometimes it’s hard to decide what the best choice is.  

So typically we fret, overthink, don’t sleep and over analyse until we are forced to make a call – then once it is made we often continue along this path.  

There is a simpler way.

Ed Batista of the Stanford Business School put it this way in his article for Harvard Business Review:

“Before we make any decision — particularly one that will be difficult to undo — we’re understandably anxious and  focused on identifying the “best” option because of the risk of being “wrong.” But a by-product of that mindset is that we overemphasize the moment of choice and lose sight of everything that follows. Merely selecting the “best” option doesn’t guarantee that things will turn out well in the long run, just as making a sub-optimal choice doesn’t doom us to failure or unhappiness. It’s what happens next (and in the days, months, and years that follow) that ultimately determines whether a given decision was ‘right.’”

In other words, it’s our commitment and confidence in the decision that will ultimately distinguish whether it was the right decision or not. It is also the letting go of needing to know, of creating the possible scenarios in our heads and letting things be that funnily enough encourages a positive outcome.

The best question when we are trying to make a decision is to ask ourselves what option will inspire and motivate us more to ensure it is the right decision.

2 x Simplify Challenges For You.

2 x Simplify Challenges For You.

The word itself suggests simplifying something like our life should be easy. It’s not always the case. This is due to certain attachments, assumptions, habits and family/social conditioning. It can also be related to a fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of rejection. Whatever it is, in some areas of our lives - it can stop us from growing and learning.

I have two challenges for you:

1)    Choose to live without something for 24 hours – The thing you choose needs to be something that crowds your mind.

Here are some ideas for you:

-       I will not think of the past for the next 24 hours and will be present in the moment.

-       I will not worry about the future for the next 24 hours and will be present in the moment.

-       I will not complain for 24 hours. When a thought comes into my mind that is a complaint, I will not speak it, I will acknowledge it and not feed it more thoughts.

-       I will not worry for 24 hours.

-       I will not overthink at night before I go to sleep for 24 hours.  

2)    Now think of something outside of yourself that you will choose to live without for 24 hours. Something that doesn’t add to your life, but rather clutter it with dependence and distraction. See if you can last 24 hours without it and see how you feel at the end. Make a note of what you choose, write it down in your phone as your screensaver, on your fridge – wherever you need to.

Here are some ideas for you:

-       Go without television.

-       Go without your phone.

-       Go without Facebook.

-       Go without coffee. Too far?

-       Go without Instagram

-       Go without buying anything online (ha!)

If any of these are bit too far – Try it for half a day.

I have downloaded an app on my phone called Flora. When I find myself using my phone to much I switch my phone onto Flora – Flora will grow a ‘tree’ on your screen and if you exit out of it before it’s fully grown, it dies and it makes you feel really bad!

Why do we do this? This frees up space. Space between thought is where the magic can happen. But it we are too full with thoughts and worries there is no time for inspiration, creativity or intuition to speak. There is magic in simplicity. We just need to be open to embrace it.

I’m not asking you to change your week, your year or your life, I asking you to try it for 24 hours and see how it feels. It will hopefully spark something inside of you, and that’s all you need to begin.

Just start somewhere.

Soul Thinking - Simplicity at a Soul Level.

Soul Thinking - Simplicity at a Soul Level.

 

The world was never ready for Soul Thinking – until now.

“What a liberation to realise that the ‘voice in my head’ is not who I am” – Eckhart Tolle.

In today’s materialistic world most people spend time and effort concentrating on the surface demands and needs of the brain and body, and ignore the mind and soul.

It can often not be until something profound happens to us at a level of trauma or miracle that our souls are inevitably touched and we are often changed forever.

Some examples of this are when we give birth, if we lose a baby or loved one, someone/ourselves gets sick or a marriage breaks up. It changes us, our identities can feel threatened and/or changed forever. It’s these impactful moments that stay with us forever – imprinted on our souls.

Tuning into what’s truly important to us from a soul level and living simply from it doesn’t need to be as profound as this.  You don’t HAVE to go through a degree to trauma to reach this state.

We ALL have the power to train our minds, intellect and hearts - to live in tune and in tandem with our souls. Our souls are the gateway to what we most desire and our purpose.

Living simply from a soul level requires us to turn down the analyzer in our heads and allow thoughts to enter from a calm, content and quiet place. We don’t want to become thoughtless zombies, we want to respect the power of thought and use it as gateway for inspiration and creativity. Harmony in the soul, mind and body is the key to ultimate wellness and happiness.

We can never experience happiness by suppressing our spirit and our soul.

Our mental health, our thoughts and our mindset determine our reality. Put simply our thoughts create our lives, we attract what we feel and what we think about. If we are encouraging ourselves to turn down the thoughts that don’t serve us, that create a negative feedback loop and embrace the calm and open the gateway for our inspired thoughts our lives will change – I can promise you that.

So how we can tune into our souls to create simplicity? By tuning into one thing.

We are created by it, manifested by it and surrounded by it, your children were created by it too – LOVE. Our soul is an umbilical cord to all that is possible.

The ways in which we find this place of calm and love is through meditation and mindfulness, two things we offer plenty of in this Village.

Here are some ideas to turn down the analyzer in our brains and create more space in our heads for soul thinking:

  • Write it down. Do a short meditation and then once your mind is calm, although the inspiration and creativity to come, write it down before you miss it.

    (When I’m feeding my son his bottle every night in his room, I do a similar exercise. I call it my inspiration station. I try and become very in the moment, and announce in my head I am ready for any inspiration that I’m needing to come) I know I’ll have a good 10 mins in this space. I also know I want to be as mindful as I can in this space because I’m with my son.)

    Find a place you can call you inspiration station.

-       Meditate for 10-20 mins a day (Village meditations here: https://www.themotherhoodproject.co.nz/meditations

-       Mindfulness – Do the 5 senses check strategy – STOP technique.

https://www.themotherhoodproject.co.nz/mindfulness-information/2019/9/26/4gpjveohrhglewtt9tyr8k4lzlagei

https://www.themotherhoodproject.co.nz/mindfulness-information/2019/9/25/mindfulness-the-stop-technique

-       Intentionally limit the amount of information you consume in a day.

-       Structure your day around the decisions that matter most and tackle them first – EAT THE FROG – do what needs to be done most urgently, don’t overthink it and do it.

-       Don’t tackle big decisions in the afternoon – once you tune in and realize that even before children the afternoon dips were tough, its not that you are a bad mother at those times it’s acknowledging that at that time of the day it is more challenging, blood sugar levels are done etc. Don’t crowd your mind with big decisions, instead take it easy on yourself. Go and make a healthy snack from our Village recipes or do a fitness workout, if you don’t feel up to that, read through some of our personal development strategies. Do something purposeful that inspires creativity of thought – Soul thinking.

Simplify – Do what makes you happy.

Simplify - Do what makes you happy.

If I was sitting with you face to face right now and I asked you the question –

What makes you happy?  - Would you be able to answer that in depth?

I mean what makes you happy on a day to day basis?

The big stuff I think I can answer some of it for you. Your kids are happy and healthy, You have a loving relationship with your husband and partner, you are surrounded by beautiful friends and ones you can call on for support. You have direction and feel content in your life.

But what about the day to day? Because the day to day is what inevitability creates your reality. We can often have the answers to the big questions around happiness but in our day to day we can often be operating unconsciously – living in the familiar past or worrying about the predictable future.

That’s where there is extreme power in Mindfulness – we become mindful of our lives.  

I’ll tell you what makes me mindfully happy in a day to day: I’m going to break it down for you – simplify. 

1)    Quality time with my children as soon as we wake up in the morning. Cuddles, kisses and appreciating the peaceful mind because thoughts begin to appear.

2)    Not looking at my phone until I absolutely have to.

3)    Going outside while the sun is still coming up and taking in 3 deep breaths, noticing the sounds, smells and energy of the day.

4)    Drinking a hot cup of tea sitting down from start to finish.

5)    Having time set in my day for ‘me’ – to meditate or exercise or just watch something on Netflix I’m loving.

6)    Have time set in my day for my children – to do a puzzle, sing songs, chat absolute nonsense, paint, push on the swing or cuddle.

7)    Have time to cook, create food for my family mindfully – providing healthy, nutritious food that I know is nourishing them from the inside out.

8)    Living mindfully, checking in with my thoughts – are they helping or hindering me, are they negative or positive, are they inspiring or detrimental. Are they necessary or can I let them go.

9)    Having time with my husband – time to chat without devices in our hands, when we look at each other and chat, we turn on music and just be together, sometimes without talking.

This is a day I would look back on and cherish. This isn’t my day every day, it’s the day I’m striving for – the only reason I know this is because I have written it down.  

Sometimes I achieve none of this, sometimes I’ll achieve half of it, but being mindful of what I know truly makes me happy – simplifying it makes the chance of it happening a lot higher.
It’s called manifesting – something I love to do.

So what is your ideal day? There are no special occasions in there, no extra special treats or spends.