My friend, I owe you one hell of an apology…

My friend, I owe you one hell of an apology…

I’m sorry I never knew what you meant when you said you were exhausted. Mentally and physically drained of everything.

I’m sorry I didn’t know what it meant to have sore nipples and red achy eyes that so badly just wanted to close.

I’m sorry there were days you felt overwhelmed, isolated and alone.

I’m sorry I underestimated the sheer effort and energy it took some days to leave the house...not to mention have a shower. Or the pressure you put yourself under to get dinner on the table or do a load of washing or make the bed.

I’m sorry I didn’t know what it really meant to be pooed on and weed on and spewed on...sometimes all at once.

I feel awful that I didn’t truly understand or appreciate your wins. Like when your baby had a milestone sleep stretch. Or smiled and giggled for the first time. When they rolled over or crawled. When they started saying your name. I never truly noticed the love you and your child shared. The moments you looked deep into each other’s eyes. The way your face would light up when your bubba did something new. A love so powerful, so primal, so indescribable that sometimes it would move you to tears.

I never understood how much your life had changed. To me, you were the same friend I’d always had. Or that’s what I wanted to believe. But everything had changed. You couldn’t be the same. You were an even more beautiful version of you. You were a mother. A selfless, nurturing, multi-juggling woman who had birthed life into this world, and was now raising a tiny human who you were giving your all to. You were everything you were and so much more.

I’m just sorry it took me having a baby to truly see you in all your magnificence. Or maybe it’s only then, when we have a little love of our own, that we can truly appreciate, honour and deeply understand our fellow mum friends.

Share with a mama friend x

Written by Lou Marx, our newest contributing writer and new mum for TMP.
Lou Marx is a journalist passionate about conscious and connected living. For more of her musings check out @lou_marx_

Beautiful image by @days.of.bliss on Instagram. Photography by Muse Photography.