What Makes Your Heart Sing : Micro-Motives.
We all want to enjoy life. It seems so simple but so many of us are terrible at really understanding what drives us.
Todd Rose is a social scientist who wrote a book called Dark Horse: Achieving Success through the Pursuit of Fulfillment, recently stated in a podcast Wharton University –
That by far the most important thing to find out about yourself in order to live a fulfilled life is: Understanding what truly motivates you.
We all have big motives such as money, family etc but it’s understanding our micro-motives, the small things and the ones that are specific to you.
Finding our Micro-Motives:
We are constantly reminding each other as mothers to not judge each other but for this particular activity to find our micro-motives in life in order to feel more fulfilled in life Todd Ross and his colleague Ogi Ogas suggested we do just that – JUDGE. (either positively or negatively)
Passing judgement for this particular exercise is important to realize we are not assessing the persons deficiencies, it’s not about them at all.
Three step judgement game: (By Todd Rose and Ogi Ogas)
Become aware of the moments when you’re judging someone.
Identify the feelings that emerge. (If it’s a strong reaction you are on the right track)
Ask yourself why you’re experiencing those feelings. – It’s important to be really honest at this step.
Simply ask yourself what would I like to have in their life? And also what would I hate?
I came across a gardener and I favourably judged their job initially thinking being around nature all day would be great. I then took it another step, (keep sifting through your feelings) – The gardener works alone though so not sure I’d like that as I love working with people.
Just from that I have identified two potential micro-motives – the desire to be around nature and the desire for steady social engagement.
This game of judgement can take some time to get the hang of but it is a reliable way of finding out what really does motivate us in our daily lives, and when we are motivated, we find fulfillment and we begin to know ourselves.